I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
