I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
