He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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