I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
