so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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