im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
