You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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