Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
