How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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