I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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