That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
