you guys were way drunker than both of me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
