She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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