Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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