Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
