I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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