What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the day after is always just damage control
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
