he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You may now shotgun with the bride
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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