2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize