What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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