I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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