If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well I just put wine in my tea
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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