I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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