Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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