My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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