just come out here and I will go home with you...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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