Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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