You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
