just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
