Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
