not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize