the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
