So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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