You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize