and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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