I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love having hate sex.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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