she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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