mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
