I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
