I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
