Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
