I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
