is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
