if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
