it hurts more in the daytime
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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