I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
