He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
