yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
