Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
