On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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