Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
