what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
