i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
