Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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