Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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