This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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