none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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