This girl is more easily done than said...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
