how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
