He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
